Scriven: The most recent draft of my pitch

A man and his younger sister endure the death of their mother. Stricken with poverty and lost with what to do to care for his unusually autistic sister, he watches as his deceased long time ailing diabetic mother is wheeled from their rundown small apartment. Frought with grief he stumbles upon their mother’s life savings, a wad of singles and fives found in a coffee can hid in their mothers room.

The man, realizing that his finances are completely insufficient to support his mentally ill sister, and that it is only a matter of time before, through no fault of his own, his sister will be institutionalized for her highly unusual autistic condition and his family will no longer exist.

In a distraught state, suffering both from his mothers passing and the realization that his sister will be institutionalized despite any and all of his best efforts in only a matter of time. He comes to the hard made decision to see out one of his mothers longstanding dreams she, in her failing health, knew they could never accomplish as a family. He decides to take the money found in his deceased mothers room and take his young beautiful and troubled sister for the last vacation of her life to fulfill a long desired wish of his mothers. The wish that the man take his sister to see the most beautiful thing she has ever seen. A California ocean, a beach stretch of beach, a sunset on the horizon, and give his siter the only chance she will ever have to see the ocean before she falls too deeply into her mental state to see anything of the world and locked into the horrible fate of being institutionalized in a government institution for one last time.

The character of the lead is a man approaching middle age. He has a slightly defensive neurotic streak. He is devoted to his mother and sister dearly. He has a long streak of dead end jobs and unemployment.

The lead male role (and this plot line is hilarious but open to adjustment in my eyes.) is a diagnosed schizophrenic. He is a fully functional schizophrenic. He is not often prone to mood swings or any outward delusions the audience can see, but complains from time to time that he suffers from auditory hallucination. Hallucinations namely of a narrator in his head that he swears sounds just like, or very much like Morgan Freeman. He does not often outwardly display his scizos state, but when unattended by anyone except his sis (who struggling with her own mental illness nevers seems to note much his behavior) he is filmed yelling at the voices in his own head.

The voices in his own head being…. The narrator, and a voice that sounds almost identical to, (although the casting of course unlikely) Morgan Freeman himself

His sister suffers from her own mental illness. I picture a quite beautiful young pale redheaded girl with long curly hair. Due to the nature of the autistic condition she has suffered from since birth she only seems to nbe able to speak in flowing gorgeous lines of poetry. When happy, in the social eye, or generally in a calm state, the poetry she speaks, poetry consisting of endless goreous always original and unheard of lines, fits the mood of the scene. Her replies are in character with what is going on around her, being curt, defensive, flirty, happy, or snotty. When under extreme duress, or during her fits of outrage, or fits common of autistic people, which typically surface under periods of high stress or at times triggered by unpredictable events such as being in an unusual environments or being exposed to occurences or experiences that break hard to understand or unexpected patternsw in their life

During times of autistic breaks in composure or being triggered by stressful events she is prone to break from her typical flowing and beautiful original lines of poetic discourse to stammering, at times violently, and at times repetitively, quite bad verse and prose, the poetry that is her own language and quite tentative link to the rest of the world breaks down.

The only sure fire thing her brother has found to calm her reliably in her autistic breaks is poetry as well. Her brother is always keeping close at hand a small smart phone or run down Ipad to place before her when these outbursts occur. He turns on youtube to the Button Poetry youtube channel, often sitting quietly next to her as she inward, earbuds in, safely wrapped in a world she is incapable of escaping, poem after poem, The only legible think she is to say during these times is softly murmur, “Neil Hilborn” a fellow poet friend of mine, notorious to the national scene and well known nationwide as an incredibly popular slam poet, and his very well known poem “OCD” found on Button Poetry’s youtube channel garnering over ten million hits online.

The female lead is very much like any girl you would love to meet at a bar or in public to an unwary eye. Despite her speaking only in poetry she drinks heavily at every opportunity, she smokes at every opportunity, and she comes on to any good looking man that crosses her path at every opportunity. She’s vibrant, playful, gorgeous, and very much wants to live the life of a young vibrant beautiful woman. The men that cross her path often never realize, or perhaps realize only slowly, that she is actually a very sensitive autistic. To the average guy she flirts with at every opportunity shamelessly and often she is simply a wild young beautiful woman speaking in flowing gorgeous prose

Their mother, who is only seen in the beginning as she is lifted onto a gurney in her rundown small aprtment and bagged and rolled from their lives has collected every line of poetry of merit her daughter has ever said at every opportunity. The second scene where she is wheeled from her home by the coroner shows endless tall, quite tall, page after page of stack after stack of gorgeous flowing poetry that has fallen from her daughters mouth since she was just a child. The stacks lie everywhere, neatly stacked. The male lead has long ago given up on just what to do with these endless poems and lines, although it frustrates him deeply that his mother has devoted so much of her life to recording all of these pages, and that his sister, soon to be institutionalized by the government, will never be seen for her true talent and creativity by the world. He is at a loss for what to do with these endless gorgeous flowing lines

The first scene opens in one solid still shot. Leaning against the bar is the male lead. Pictured behind sitting at a chair and being often berated by her brother is our poet

He leans against the bar and negotiates animatedly at the bartender. The bartender is a large bellied old man flipping through a large stack of typed paper

He sits agitatedly. Bartering over lines and pages of poetry. Animatedly telling him to flip from page to page to different verses and metaphors bartering the original poems for a cheap tap beer, then going for a shot of a wells drink, and finally vainly trying to close the deal to the barely muttering bartender for a bowl of pretzels for his pick of the pages of his sisters quotes

His sister sits giglling and flirting at a local boy. Her brother glances over his shoulder from time to time yelling at the good looking young man to stay away from his sister agitatedly and with off and on success as he slips into the seat next to her as he’s not looking, sneaking her puffs of his cigarette, shots, of booze, and necking with her, making out at every opportunity passionately while she slides her hand up high and down his thigh, and endlessly flirting at the young man

A call then comes to the bar shortly after the male lead complains for a time at the barfly sitting downscreen about hearing the voice of Morgan Freeman more and more frequently narrating his life and discussing with the man how he is not in fact insane, he just hears the voice of Morgan Freeman.

The dialogue shifts briefly to the hard time out lead has been having due to the voices holding down work, and how he wishes he could earn just enough to drive his siter to see the beach as their mother has always wanted

The phone rings at the bar, the lead is passed the landline on a long cord, He reacts nonchalantly at first, then looks visibly shaken, sets down the phone and flatly and dryly says aloud that his mother is dead as the girl quotes a gorgeous line of prose puffing on her suitors cigarette and throwing back a shot

Scene 2: The scene is set in the interior of his mothers rundown small filthy apartment. Her room is filled to the brim around the edges of the shot with stacks of verse, the shot consists of his mothers bare feet rising as they raise the gurney they are to wheel her out upon. The male lead is standing off to the side as the bag her large body in a pink moomoo, and the girl is backset left sitting upon her coffeetable oblivious to the world, earbuds in, and gazing calmly and slightly pleasantly into a cell phone as her brother struggles to maintain his composure, the girl leaves the room nonchalantly incapable of quite grasping the ramifications of what has happened, and her brother, despite all efforts, loses his composure as tightly as he can

He speaks with the coroner briefly, mutters to himself alone as the coroner leaves of his loss and then shortly after uncovers incidentally the last of their mothers life savings.

The shot shifts to him placing his sister into his car. Starting the ignition. Declaring to her that we are going to the beach as mom would always have wanted. Then just as he’s peeling out he swears, slams the steering wheel, muttering what am I doing, and proceeds to make trips into the apartment and back out over and over, filling every last nook of his beat up little car to the ceiling with endless stacks of his sisters writing.

Her brother, with a vehicle stuffed with her work, distributes all he can everywhere they go. He slides them into magazine racks at gas stations, into newspaper after newspaper for sale in news stands and vending machines, leaves them on diner tables when they leave after a meal, slipping pages under windshield wipersand hands pages to anyone he can get to slow down enough to acknowledge his presence wherever he goes desperately trying to show his sisters brilliance in a determined and at times anxious or nonchalant manner. As he crosses the country at times the pages blow out of the window on the freeway by the tens and twenties and he makes little to no attempt to keep them from peppering the streets and highways

Along the way the vehicle breaks down. A kindly man insists in helping. He offers to bring them to his place until the vehicle can be repaired insisting he has a friend that is a mechanic that will work on the car for cheap. The man informs them he has a party tonight to throw, that they’re no trouble to him if they stay, and its is going to be a hell of a bash. In the course of the party The male lead gets caught up in the festivities, drinking and doing drugs, flirting with girls, and then realizes that he has lost track of his sister. He immediately panics, storming all over frantically asking if anyone has seen her, then rushes outside to the sight of her in the back of a pickup with one man pawing, pants down, between her legs in the back and another man standing idly. The man standing idly sees him coming, merely stating “I got next”

The male lead explodes into a rage and fights the two men off, he is very badly beaten, and in the struggle attacks them with a bar lying in the back of the pickup, as the fight begins and continues briefly the female lead speaks insistently repeating “no No” and quoting passionate lines of poetry.

The man who has brought them to the party comes outside as the male lead is about to beaten to death after being overcome in the fight, and runs the two men off

The sister begins to trigger very badly over the violence. The man assumes the worst (rape) and on the insistence of the brother is taken to a quiet back room in the home, her sister all the while fighting him and panicking from his attack, and he holds her in the room on a bed until she calms enough to be placed infront of the video of Button Poetry on youtube, sliding a dresser in front of the door and slipping off to sleep with her as she watches the performances

Final scenes… the rest to be created

The brother and sister finally arrive at the beach. It is a gorgeous beach of course, sandy and in the light of setting sun the sister runs out to the incoming tide and twirls and dances at the waters edge playing slightly in the water’s edge

The brother watches for a moment, then, takes the last of the stacks of poetry brought with them and begins sliding the pages under the windshield wipers in the parking lot and then, laughing in relief at finally arriving he laughs slightly, then harder, and throws the pages into the wind. The pages fly with the breeze carrying many of them into the sea, and the sister dances as the wind blows them over her head into the water.

A lovely walks by as the pages float through the air and the beautiful young girl twirls happily dancing back and forth, and she snags from the wind a single page of the sheets of paper being thrown

She pauses, stares ointently at the page off center screen with the sister framed beautifully and crosse up shot approaching the lead male

The words between them are lost in the wind blowing around them but the lead smiles, shakes her hand, and the girl dances toward them

Final scene:

The scene changes to a large finely decorated hall or auditorium, The lead male character is standing smiling earnestly and lovingly with the lovely woman from the beach’s hand in his

There is a lrge stage, the crowd is finely dressed and a woman stands before a podium discussing the merits of the most exceptional poet she has ever met

The lead femal actress is standing onstage, seated awaiting her turn at the podium as she is being announced seated next to Neil Hilborn himself, she squeezes his thigh just a little to high and pecks him on the cheek before walking to the stage and giddily quoting more random lines of poetry

The lead male is enthusiastic, kisses his new girl passionately, and then, slipping to the back, encounters a Morgan Freeman, or a man that looks quite like Morgan Freeman (possibly sounds like him himself) and then tells him how much he has always loved the sound of his voice

Curtain

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