The Next Great American Poet

I am the greatest poet you have ever met

U don’t believe me?

At this moment I am the greatest poet you have ever met

If God were to pluck the eyes from your head you would turn to me to describe the sky

If god were to burn the taste buds from your tongue you would turn to me to describe your next meal

And though the sky to you would be black, though the meal to you would taste of cotton swabs I would make that day the brightest skyline you’ve ever seen. Your next bite would be the most succulent of your existence

What you don’t believe me


Words are bull shit

I Pontifically craft crap on a daily basis

I churn this drunken nonsense as surely as I breathe. this is my therapy this my moment on an alien planet with yoda and it is bullshit

The one hundred and thirty two pages of my first book will mean far less to you, read twice, than your next mugging, your next fight with your girlfriend, than the length of time to me it has been since I’ve gotten laid

I am not afraid that these words mean nothing because most words mean nothing they are predesignated sounds that people spew to get given reactions from other people so that they in turn get a chance to spew their own predesignated sounds

Words are for the weak and since we are all so goddamn weak we all rely on these impotent fucking nouns and verbs and adjectives and we all take the classes to learn to place them in the right place lest others think we’re stupid well I’m the greatest poet you ever met and I work at fuckin pizza hut so how fuckin stupid am I

I don’t even mean it when I say I’m the greatest poet you’ve ever met I don’t even believe that shit and neither should you I said it as so many people say so many things just to make a fuckin point just to draw a reaction that they may litmus test for sincerity and to gauge a response

Every fuckin compliment I receive on my work is as unexpected as a broken condom or a lengthy blood test result

We are poets because we have met insanity and not flinched. We are poets because alcoholism knows us by our first name and social security number. We are poets because we have made your adversity look like a game of fucking tick tack toe against a five year old.

We write as surely as one would pull jagged glass from a wound. We write because it is cheaper than visiting a psychologist. We write because if we did not one of us would be firing into the air from a roof top in the area right now and the rest of us would be cheering him on from below and saying ridiculous things at the the local news camera. We right for the same reason people kill prostitutes and fight terrorism on their playstation three and the same reason people fill bars and liquor stores

I am the next great American poet

We are allA the next great American poet

and no one will have any idea who the fuck any of us are


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